I like to read everything. Sometimes I just sit with my browser open and throw strange questions into the vast space of internet, and get answers. It’s comforting to know things.
My parents often tell me stories of how I’d always look at things with a sense of wonderment and how my favorite thing to ever ask was, “why?” they’d get annoyed sometimes; they’d really feel proud the other times. So they’d get me encyclopedias to find my answers in. I loved answers.
I once read that humans shed the upper layer of their skin every two weeks. That’s how scars fade and wounds heal. So your blissful touch of hug has already been erased from my arms, and my body has forgotten your touch. That’s kinda relieving.
But then I also read that some cells don’t renew at all. That’s how our skin wrinkles and ages. What if you left impression on those very spots, and all that you ever made me feel will only grow with me? Because I still remember. More vividly as the days pass by. That’s terrifying.
Memories blur with time. The mind weakens with age. But somehow, it always finds a way to remember what our skin may forget. That’s strange.
I wish I were a brand new person, one that had never met you. But you see, that’s not possible. Some part of you has mingled with some part of me in a way that it will never detach. Why? I still don’t know the answer to this one. Sometimes that bothers me but sometimes that’s comforting too, you know. Not knowing.
-Sagar Zodpe
